Put yourself into the exercises. Bear in mind that there are no right or wrong answers. They do not test your parenting skills or mental health. You won’t score them. They are included solely to help you in the same way that ancient Greeks consulted the Delphic oracle. In The Courage to Create, existential psychologist Rollo May describes the oracle’s work in this way: The story has a number of parallels in folktales from various cultures. All of the known parallels, among them several from India, have been recorded in later periods than the biblical story; nevertheless, it is unclear whether they reflect earlier or later traditions. Hermann Gunkel rules out the possibility that such a sophisticated motif had developed independently in different places. [20] Some scholars are of the opinion that the source of the story is untraceable. [21] [22] Willem A. M. Beuken, "No Wise King without a Wise Woman (I Kings III 16–28)", in A. S. van der Woude (ed.), New Avenues in the Study of the Old Testament: A Collection of Old Testament Studies, Published on the Occasion of the Fiftieth Anniversary of the Oudtestamentisch Werkgezelschap and the Retirement of Prof. Dr. M. J. Mulder (Oudtestamentische Studiën 25), Leiden: Brill, 1989, pp. 9–10. Janet Surrey, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist and Meditation Teacher specializing in Diversity, Mothering, Adoption, and Substance Abuse. Her latest book is The Buddha’s Wife: The Path of Awakening Together

This book was a real gamechanger for me. For more than a year, I had been struggling with this decision. Having come to an age where my tactic of 'all I need to know is what I want right now' did not work anymore, panic and anxiety had gradually taken over, to the point where it was suffocating me and my relationship. The word decide comes from a Latin root meaning to cut away from. Thus, decision-making, by its very nature, involves loss; we have to give up one or more options while at the same time grasping another. When we decide to have a child, we cut ourselves off from the freedom and other satisfactions of childfree living. Similarly, the decision to remain childfree means that we must give up the intimacy and joys of parenting. By not deciding, we hold onto the illusion that we can have it both ways—that we don’t have to give up anything. Nor do we have to face the risk of discovering that we’ve made the wrong decision. There are some striking similarities between this story and the Judgment of Solomon. Both deal with nameless women who gave birth to a son. One of the son dies, and a quarrel erupts as to the fate of the other one. The case is brought before the king to decide. According to Lasine, the comparison between the stories emphasize the absurdity of the situation in the story of the cannibal mothers: While in the Judgment of Solomon, the king depend on his knowledge of maternal nature to decide the case, the story of the cannibal women describe a "topsy-turvy" world in which maternal nature does not work as expected, thus leaving the king helpless. [40] The women's characters [ edit ] The women are designated in the Hebrew text as zōnōṯ (זוֹנוֹת), which is the plural form of the adjective zōnâ (זוֹנָה), prostitute. However, some propose a different meaning for this word in the context of the story, such as "tavern owner" or "innkeeper". These proposals are usually dismissed as apologetic. [50] Jerome T. Walsh combines the two meanings, and suggests that in ancient Near East, some prostitutes also provided lodging services (cf. the story of Rahab). [51] Comparison to detective literature [ edit ]Dissolve fear and doubt, using 30 visualization exercises and thought experiments to uncover your answer All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Another huge takeaway for me was the following advice: whatever choice you make, there will be regrets. This is part of decision-making. You cut yourself off from a path that you did not choose. But you have to make the choice that you will regret the least. Once you can understand and accept the loss, you can mourn it and then move forward with your life and all the opportunities that your choice will offer you. If you made the right choice, your regrets will only be mild and occasional.

In other instances, lawyers and legal commentators may use "split the baby" to refer to any compromise or ruling in which both sides can claim partial victory. Some commentators have noted, however, that this usage is inconsistent with the Biblical narrative, in which Solomon's solution did not involve actually splitting the baby or finding a compromise but, rather, provided evidence that led to a total victory for one of the claimants. [60] [61] "Solomonic Judgment" [ edit ] Volkmar Fritz, 1 & 2 Kings (Continental Commentary), translated by Anselm Hagedorn, Minneapolis: Fortress, 2003, p. 42. In Toward a Psychology of Being, the late humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow distinguished between two kinds of motivation— growth motivation and deficiency motivation. When a person is motivated by deficiency or safety needs, he or she acts out of a desire to decrease anxiety. Any kind of change seems too risky, and therefore frightening, to undertake. On the other hand, when a person is motivated by growth needs, his or her actions reflect a desire for greater fulfillment. The risks seem less important than the possibility of improving one’s life. For the plot structure see the commentaries, and also Bezalel Porten, "The Structure and Theme of the Solomon Narrative (I Kings 3-11)", Hebrew Union College Annual 38 (1967), pp. 99–100. For the literary structure see Willem A. M. Beuken, "No Wise King without a Wise Woman (I Kings III 16–28)", in A. S. van der Woude (ed.), New Avenues in the Study of the Old Testament: A Collection of Old Testament Studies, Published on the Occasion of the Fiftieth Anniversary of the Oudtestamentisch Werkgezelschap and the Retirement of Prof. Dr. M. J. Mulder (Oudtestamentische Studiën 25), Leiden: Brill, 1989, pp. 2–4.Merle’s writing has appeared in Our Bodies, Ourselves, Brides, Glamour, Self, the Boston Globe Magazine, Boston Magazine and psychology blogs. She has lectured at Harvard Medical School, M.I.T., Wellesley College, and the Cambridge Center for Adult Education. She has appeared on national radio and television news shows, talk shows and documentaries, including the Leeza Show. Merle has been quoted in Time, Newsweek, the New York Times, the Boston Globe and the Huffington Post. She has also written medical journal articles and a chapter in a medical textbook. Edward Lipinski, "Ancient Types of Wisdom Literature in Biblical Narrative", in Alexander Rofé and Yair Zakovitch (eds.), Isac Leo Seeligmann Volume, Jerusalem: E. Rubenstein, 1983, pp. 51–55 TLDR: I am curious, how many people came to a decision with the help of "The Baby Decision" book that ended their marriage/relationship, b/c their partner was on the other side of the fence? If so, did both of you read it? Was it mutual or bitter? It provides a many useful and detailed activities to help you to introspect and think more specifically about what you value and life. There are also activities to help better understand how a baby would fit into your current schedule and deciding how much you could be/would be willing to adjust for the baby. For example, could some of your favorite hobbies/activities be modified to accommodate a baby, or a least a young child? Long, Burke O., 1 Kings (Forms of the Old Testament Literature 9), Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1984, ISBN 0802819206, pp.67–70